Hidden Confessions
by flutiedutiedute
Summary: A man, a woman, and confessions that will change their lives forever. Please R/R
1. Default Chapter

Hidden Confessions  
  
Author: Robbie (dougandcarol22)  
  
Disclaimer: While I would love to own them, odds are that the reason I bother writing fic, is because I don't own them, happy now? Once again, its me, re-writing ER, because I feel like it. We all know this is the way I would like it, and therefore in no way reflects much of anything else  
  
Spoilers: Everything up through Start All Over Again is fair game.   
  
Need to Know/Authors Note: This is a follow-up of sorts to the recently aired (in the US) Season 8 episode, Start All Over Again. However, I wouldn't exactly call it a gap-filler, because I have changed a couple of things that will be made clear as you read the story. The background info is as follows. Carter is seeing a woman that he has been seeing for roughly 4-5 months. (Here's that changed element I was telling you about) If you read the story you will find out who… I'm setting this story in late October/Early November 2001 or whatever date it is on "Real ER" at the time that this episode aired. (Since we're never really sure). It takes place right where the episode leaves off.   
  
Enjoy and please send me some feedback at gigglgrl26@hotmail.com   
  
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)   
  
The new mother waved her sons tiny hand as the elevator doors clicked shut, and Susan turned to Carter and gave him a big smile. "Good work in there, Carter." She was casually referring to the baby they had just delivered from a height far above the ground.   
  
He smiled back, "You too." A moment of awkward silence passed between them and neither was quite sure what to say. At a loss for words Carter chuckled, "Welcome back." Susan smiled back and nodded. He yawned tiredly, looking at his watch. "Well, I'm off. Do you have a shift tomorrow?" The two began walking to the front the desk.   
  
Susan nodded in affirmation, "I'm on at 11:00. Let's hope I can get out of here with enough time to get some sleep."  
  
"You know, you could always crash in one of the exam rooms for a couple of hours between shifts."   
  
Susan laughed. "I think I need to get away from here for a while. Just to clear my head a little. There's nothing like coming back to make you realize exactly why you left."  
  
Carter nodded, and began to walk into the lounge. He turned around before entering, "I'll see you tomorrow." Susan waved and grabbed another chart from the desk.   
  
The door shut with a resounding thud, and a woman looked up from her perch on the sofa, drinking a cup of coffee. "Hey," he greeted.  
  
"John. We need to talk." He turned away from his locker a concerned look on his face.   
  
"What is it?"   
  
A pained expression crossed the woman's face. "Not here. I'll see you at home, okay?"  
  
He wore a dazed expression, "Yeah." Shaking his head as if to clear his mind he spoke again, "Yeah, I'll see you there. What time are you off?"   
  
"An hour."   
  
Carter nodded and grabbing a couple of things from his locker, he walked out of the lounge leaving the woman alone.  
  
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)  
  
The woman pushed the key into the lock and turned it, opening the door quietly only seconds later. She set her purse and coat down on a chair in the small kitchen, and continued on to the bedroom. Finding the door open, she walked in and found her boyfriend of 4 months sleeping on the king sized bed they shared. His image was so sweet that it nearly brought tears to her eyes. He lay on his back sprawled out with one arm curled under his head and the other resting above his hip.   
  
She walked into the walk-in closet adjacent to the bedroom and undressed, pulling on a pair of light blue, flannel pajama pants and a white tank top. Then, she walked back into the room and crawled into the bed, pulling the comforter around her body. Carter stirred and opened his eyes. "Hey. What time is it?"  
  
"12:30. You can go back to sleep," she whispered.   
  
"It's okay, I'm up. What did you want to talk about at the hospital?"   
  
She sighed. "I was thinking today." She paused and he looked at her questioningly. "We've already taken the next step in our relationship by moving in together and getting this apartment."   
  
"Go on," he urged her.   
  
"Well." She took his hands into her own, looking him straight in the eye. "I need to know that this relationship is going somewhere, because, I'm falling in love with you. I… I am in love with you. But if things aren't working between us, I don't want to ruin the friendship that we have. I've been in relationships before that drag on forever and go nowhere. I can't let that happen again. I need to know that the love is from both sides."  
  
Carter sent her a look mixed with confusion and pain. He spoke softly, lovingly. "Don't you know how much I love you? You are everything to me. I love you more than I can express in words. I want to marry you, make babies, and grow old together. Maybe not yet, but as soon as I'm sure we're ready." He squeezed her hand. "What's wrong?"  
  
A single tear began its tantalizing decent down her cheek. "I don't know, I thought that…" She turned away for a moment.   
  
"What is it?" he pressed.   
  
"That new doctor, Susan Lewis." She looked him right in the eye. "Can you honestly tell me that you aren't in love with her?"  
  
Carter breathed a sigh of relief. "Is that all this is about?" He laughed. "Susan and I have known each other since my first day at County. She left a couple of years ago when her sister left for Phoenix. We're old friends. I'll admit that I once had a crush on her, but I was young, and naïve as to the meaning of love. I know now what that is." He smiled at her and lifted her chin with his finger. "I can honestly tell you that all there is between us is friendship. I love you, you, and only you."   
  
"Are you sure, John? Can you promise me that those feelings aren't going to resurface and you're going to leave me?"  
  
He shook his head. "Never. I've loved you since I couldn't have you, and you were involved with someone else. When my opportunity came, I jumped at the chance, and I'll tell you something. I've never regretted it."  
  
She bit her lip. "Even if I were to tell you that I'm pregnant?"   
  
His shocked face burst into a grin, "Are you serious?"  
  
She nodded, a smile at his positive reaction tugging at her lips. "I think so. I haven't taken the test yet, but … I'm late. At first I didn't notice, but it's been almost 2 weeks."   
  
He shook his head in amazement. "I think you've just made me the happiest man in the world. Let's go to the 24 hour drug store and get a test so you can take it right now."  
  
She giggled, "It's almost 1 AM." He shrugged his shoulders and jumped out of bed, pulling on a pair of pants and a shirt.   
  
"Well? Aren't you going to get dressed, or are you going like that?"  
  
She wiped the forgotten tears from her face and stood up to get ready.   
  
"Abby?"  
  
"Yes, John?"  
  
"I love you."  
  
Hidden confessions secret no more, she whispered, "I love you too."  
  
(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)  
  
~THE END~  
  
Authors Note Part 2: Just in case you didn't realize, in my story, Abby and Luka broke up at the beginning of the summer, (at the end of Season 7). Sorry if you were confused, but I didn't want to spoil the story early on. :)  
  
Yeah it was short, but it was an idea that just begged to be written. I hope it wasn't too bad, although odds are it was since it only took about half an hour. At the moment it will remain a standalone unless I get some feedback urging otherwise, in which case there could potentially be a follow-up. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated. Please direct it towards gigglgrl26@hotmail.com. Thanks for reading! 


	2. Doctors Orders

Doctors Orders  
Author: Robbie (dougandcarol22)  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, although a girl can wish, right?   
  
Spoilers: Everything up through Start All Over Again is fair game.   
  
Need to Know/Authors Note: This is a sequel to my story Hidden Confessions. It takes place approximately 9 months from that fic. In order to understand this one, I recommend you read its predecessor. Also, see the authors note on that one for further explanation.   
  
Enjoy and please send me some feedback at gigglgrl26@hotmail.com   
  
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)  
  
She took a deep breath and tipped her head backwards as a wave of pain engulfed her entire body.   
  
"Abby?" came a groggy voice from beside her. The man rolled over in bed as she groaned again. "What's wrong?" She stayed silent, a grimace on her face, her fist clenched around a corner of the comforter. "Abby?"  
  
John Carter sat up in bed and groped about for the light switch. Finally reaching it, he flicked it on and the room was instantly illuminated by a luminescent so bright that both people in the room shut their eyes, a collective groan escaping their lips. Seconds later, vainly hoping his eyes would adjust with little pain, he opened them and came immediately to the aid of woman who lay groaning next to him.   
  
He crouched at her side. "Honey, are you having contractions?" She mumbled something incoherent, nodding her head. "How far apart?" When he got no answer, he tried again, "How many have you had … Abby?"   
  
She let out a sigh of relief as the pain temporarily subsided. "I'm not sure when it started, but I've been having them every 10 minutes for the past hour or so. I thought they were just Braxton Hicks, but this one was a lot worse."  
  
"Let me check to see how dilated you are."  
  
"John, you're the father, not the doctor. Just get me to the hospital, " she snapped.  
  
"Are you sure?" he questioned, wearing the look of a slapped puppy. She nodded, as he began to get dressed.   
  
"My bag is next to the closet. Can you hand me those pants and that tee shirt from the chair?"   
  
"Here." She changed as quickly as possible. "Has your water broken yet?"  
  
"No, not yet. Soon I'm sure, let's go." He helped her up from the bed and together they waddled towards out of the room towards the car.   
  
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)  
  
"Hey," Carter called, walking into Abby's hospital room with a large styrofoam cup full of steaming hot coffee. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"The contractions are getting worse, more often." She heaved a large sigh. "I don't know if I can do this."   
  
"You can." He paused thoughtfully. "Have you thought about having an epidural?"   
  
Abby shrugged her shoulders, "I wasn't planning on it, but…" she chuckled softly as he sat down in a seat at her side. "I can tell you, with every contraction the idea seems just that much more appealing."   
  
Before they could continue their discussion, a nurse dressed in plum colored scrubs walked into the room. A large fake smile was plastered across her face and she spoke with a sense of unctuous enthusiasm. "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Carter, I'm Angela and I'll be your nurse for the next hour or so until the morning shift arrives." Abby smiled tentatively and Carter rose from his seat extending his arm in a friendly handshake.   
  
She grasped his hand and he spoke, making introductions. "Dr. Carter, my wife and I work down in the ER."   
  
"Oh?" the young blonde woman inquired, blinking her eyes flirtatiously. He nodded, a sour expression crossing his face. Seeing his discomfort at her advances, Angela dropped his hand and turned towards Abby.   
  
"Are you going to want an epidural? If so I need to call the anesthesiologist now," she inquired, snapping her gum obnoxiously.   
  
Abby rolled her eyes. " Yeah, you can go ahead and call." She paused for a moment as the woman turned to walk away. "By any chance do you know if Sandra is around today? She and I are old friends and it would be great if she could help me through this." Abby smirked at the stunned and insulted expression that crossed Angela's face. Angela shrugged and stomped out of the room angrily.   
  
Carter smiled at his wife as the woman left the room, "That was mean."   
  
Abby chuckled, "So was she." Carter shook his head, and rolled his eyes, his immense love for her bursting in his chest. For a moment he simply stared at her, absorbing her simplistic beauty.   
  
She smiled. "What?"  
  
"I'm just wondering how in the world I found you, how you have the ability to make me the happiest man alive. What I did to deserve what you give me."   
  
Abby reached her hand out to him and he took it giving a quick squeeze, and bringing it to his lips for a kiss.   
  
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)  
  
Half an hour later, Carter sat in the chair next to her bed, still grasping her hand as she tried to get some sleep, her eyes closed peacefully, her breathing steady. The machine monitoring the baby's pulse beeped consistently and the IV connected to her arm dripped the clear liquid into her veins.   
  
The door creaked open, and Dr.Babcock, the anesthesiologist walked into the room. Carter stood up, tapping Abby on the shoulder. "Doctor's here, Abby. Wake up," he whispered. Then he stood up and turned towards the doctor, extending his hand. "Dr. Babcock."   
  
The stout man nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. "Dr. Carter and Nurse Abby from the ER. I had no idea, congratulations." The two smiled back as he continued. "Are the contractions bad?"  
  
"They're getting worse. I figure why not wimp out while I still have the chance." Abby grinned and he chuckled.   
  
"And of course, you wouldn't want to feel like a hypocrite for inflicting these on your patients all those years ago when you worked up here, eh?"   
  
Abby laughed, color rushing to her cheeks, tinting them a pale pink. "Guilty as charged." The three turned their heads towards the door for a second time as it opened again. In walked a nurse with auburn red curly hair, that was pulled back into a ponytail. She toted behind her a cart that was armed with miscellaneous items the doctor would need to use for the procedure.  
  
She raised her eyebrows and chuckled warmly, upon entering the room. "Abby Lockhart. Who would have guessed?" She laughed and walked closer, a look of wonderment on her face.   
  
Dr. Babcock looked on in amusement. "Well now would usually be the time when I would make introductions, but I suppose in this case, that will not be necessary. Shall we begin?" Abby nodded, inhaling quickly as another contraction coursed through her exhausted body.   
  
His face etched with worry, Carter took her hand and began to stroke her back. She winced in pain, a tired and pain filled moan escaping her lips. "I know, baby, I know," Carter whispered, gathering her in his arms. "It's almost over." Moments later as the contraction ended, she visibly relaxed in his arms and Dr. Babcock walked over.   
  
"Okay, Abby, I believe you've seen this enough times to know the procedure by now." Abby nodded. "Good. Then, Maureen is going to insert the catheter into your bladder to control urine output." He nodded at Maureen and she walked towards the end of the bed.   
  
"Lift your legs for me, Hun," the older woman requested softly. Abby winced as she inserted the straight catheter into her bladder. Maureen smiled, "Sorry. As we like to say, no catheter, no epidural. It's part of the package." Abby grinned sarcastically, the discomfort evident in her expression.  
  
"Halfway there, Honey," Carter soothed softly. "You're going to feel much better after this is done." She nodded, biting her lip and remaining silent.  
  
Pulling on a pair of latex gloves, Dr.Babcock stepped forward. "Okay, Abby, I need you to sit up now. We'll have Dr. Carter and Maureen hold you in place. I need you to try and make your back nice and round for me." Groaning, she complied, arranging herself in the position she'd helped patients into many times. "Dr. Carter," he continued, "I need you to put your arm around her shoulder just like this … Good."   
  
With Carter holding her right side, and Maureen holding the other, Dr. Babcock carefully untied the back of her gown, and draped a blue surgical cloth with a small hole over Abby's back. He took a needle from the tray and said, "I'm going to inject the local anesthetic now. Ready?"  
  
She nodded in affirmation. "Yeah."  
  
"Okay." He paused while injecting the solution, as Abby cried out in pain, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. Carter winced upon seeing the sterile needle jamming its way into her flawless, porcelain skin. "Done," he replied removing the object from her spine. "We'll let that set in for a couple of seconds and then get this show on the road."   
  
Abby bit down on her lip to keep the tears from flowing out of her eyes. "That's the hard part, Abby. You're almost done," Carter whispered into her ear. Babcock took a fleeting look at the clock that was mounted on the pale pink wall.   
  
"Alright, Abby. I'm starting." She closed her eyes and leaned into her husband and the nurse. A minute later he continued, "The epidural catheter is in. You can lie back slowly." She did as told and slowly reclined backwards onto the bed, with the help of her attendants. "Good, the pain medication should begin to take effect in 5 - 10 minutes. We're going to closely monitor your vitals and the baby's, and I'll be back to check on you in a little while. Rest up." Giving her a friendly pat on the shoulder, Dr. Babcock turned around and with a quick nod at Maureen who was cleaning up the discarded implements, he left the room.   
  
At that very moment, the door creaked open again, and Sandra chose to walk into the room. She walked over to Abby. "Hey girl. I heard I was being asked for."  
  
Abby grinned as Sandra reached her arms around her body, being careful not to dislodge the IV or catheter. "I'm so glad you came, it has been forever since I've seen you."   
  
"My pleasure, girl." Sandra laughed. "You sure did piss off that Angela. A new one she is, fresh out of nursing school. They tell me she just can't stop flirting with all the cute dads-to-be. Can't get the idea into her head that they're married." The two laughed together as Carter looked on knowingly, having already borne the brunt of Angela's flirtatious behavior.   
  
Visibly cheerier at Sandra's arrival, Abby turned to Carter. "John, why don't you go and get a snack or something. I'm going to be here for a while."  
  
He shook his head. "I'm fine."  
  
The nurse looked on knowingly as the doting-dad-to-be wore on Abby's nerves. She could tell he was one of those perfect guys, who would practically smother the pregnant woman in love as she encountered the painful process of child-birth. This scene had played out many times before her eyes, and over time she'd learned when to send the husband away before a grand fight ensued. She took the opportunity now. "Dr. Carter, she's right, you all are going to be here for a while. Go have a snack, call your parents, tell them how everything is going. I'll page you if anything changes." She looked at him poignantly. "Let us OB girls catch up a little, whaddya say?"  
  
He nodded reluctantly. "I have my pager and my cell phone if you need anything, Abby." He planted a kiss on her forehead. "Get some rest, I'll be back soon, okay?"  
  
"Go." She allowed him to give her another gentle kiss on the forehead before he rose from his seat and left the room. "Thanks, Sandra," she said softly. "I love him to death, but he's smothering me."   
  
The nurse nodded knowingly. "I know, I could tell… He loves you too, you know."  
  
"I know."   
  
Sandra patted Abby on the shoulder. "Follow orders, get some rest. I'll be back soon."  
  
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)  
  
"But wait…" the infomercial droned. Nearly 8 hours after coming to the hospital, Carter restlessly flipped through the TV stations on the TV set in Abby's room. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her stir from the position in which she had been sleeping for the past half-hour.   
  
"Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty," he teased. "How are you feeling?"  
  
She rubbed her eyes tiredly, trying to rid them of sleep. "I'm okay. How long was I out?"  
  
"About half-an-hour."   
  
Tilting her head backwards, she lazily scratched her stomach. "Hey baby, let's get this show on the road, huh? Mommy's getting tired of this."  
  
He laughed. "You're loving this and you know it."   
  
Abby frowned at him sarcastically, her eyes narrowed in an intense glare. " Yeah right. I'd like to see a man give birth to a baby. In fact, Darling, I'd like to see you give birth to this baby. I quit."  
  
"I don't think you can do that, Abby."  
  
"Well don't think, " she snapped.   
  
He pushed a button on the remote control, and the television flicked off, sputtering to blackness. "That was uncalled for."  
  
"Go to hell, John," she retorted angrily.  
  
"Hey." He walked over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed, taking her hand in his own. She looked away and he tried again. "Hey… I'm sorry honey. We're both tired and anxious. And I'm sure you're in pain. Theres no point in arguing, this is supposed to be the happiest day of out lives. Okay…" She bit her lip, her face set in a pout facing the wall. "Come on, Abby, I apologize. I was insensitive."  
  
"Fine. You promise to be nice." He nodded. And she reciprocated with another nod. "Then I forgive you."   
  
"Good." He reached over and pulled her into a hug. "You know, I like it better when we're friends." She nodded, snuggling into his chest.   
  
"I need to tell you something. I love you unconditionally, but I hate you for doing this to me."  
  
He laughed. "I recall your presence when it happened, dear."  
  
"I'll tell you this much, I hope this baby is looking forward to being an only child, because I'm done."  
  
"Done?" Carter asked, raising his eyebrows mockingly.  
  
She nodded. "Yeah. No more babies."  
  
He nodded. "I see." For a moment conversation ceased, and silence reigned over the room. After the moment's passing he abruptly changed the subject of conversation. "How dilated were you the last time they checked?"  
  
" About 7 centimeters, and that was about half-an-hour ago."  
  
"It shouldn't be too much longer, now." She shook her head in agreement.   
  
"I hope you're right…"  
  
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)  
  
Dr. Janet Coburn pushed open the door to Abby's room. "Abby?" Abby looked up from the crossword puzzle she was trying to complete with John's help.   
  
"Hello Dr. Coburn."  
  
"I came in to see how you're doing and check your cervix. How have you been feeling?"  
  
Abby sighed. "Okay. Very tired, but basically okay. John was thinking we should go walking to help speed up labor, but I was too dizzy to stand up."  
  
Concern flickered across the experienced doctor's face. "Have you experienced blurred vision, headaches, itching?"  
  
She shrugged. "My head hurts a little but I attributed it to the stress. My sight is fine." Abby glanced at her, fear growing in her eyes. "Is something wrong?" She paused, all her previous medical knowledge gone, like it had flown out the door with the breeze. "Are you worried about eclampsia?" she asked, the fear finding its way into her voice.   
  
Dr. Coburn nodded, speaking in an authoritative tone. "Possibly. Let's get a Urine Analysis, and I need to check your blood pressure. We need to closely monitor the baby's heart rate. If the placenta detaches, we'll have to do a crash C-section." Abby gasped, tears filling her eyes at the very idea of such a horrible situation. The doctor read her like a book, having seen similar reactions from most women in the same predicament. "Don't worry, it's just a precaution should the circumstance arise. I need you to stay calm and focused, okay?"  
  
Abby nodded dutifully, entranced by Coburn's authoritative, yet almost motherly demeanor. "Let's check your dilation, first thing. I need you to make sure the baby's heart rate stays between 90 and 120 at all times. If it gets any lower, have Sandra call for me immediately."   
  
Dr. Coburn turned towards Sandra, who was writing something in Abby's chart. "Get a urine sample and run it to the lab. Tell them to run a complete UA and check protein levels. Get it stat, and don't come back until you have the results in your hands." Sandra nodded. "I mean it, Sandra step on their feet, I need this now."   
  
Grabbing the sample, she turned around one last time. "I'll be back soon." Coburn nodded, affirming the nurse's statement.   
  
"Now Abby, let's take a look and see how this labor is progressing. How long ago did we last check you."  
  
"Hmm… it must have been about 45 minutes, Sandra's been busy with another patient in the other room."  
  
"Okay, lift your legs and put your feet into the stirrups for me. Good, " she murmured. "Open up." Her head disappeared under the sheet, and Abby groaned in discomfort, earning a sympathetic glance and pat on the shoulder from her husband. "Well, it looks like you're just about 8 centimeters."   
  
Abby tipped her head backward onto the pillow and sighed. Dr. Coburn smiled to herself. "You're in the early stages of the transition period now, so if there are no more complications, we should be able to have a normal vaginal delivery."  
  
She closed her eyes briefly, as if in prayer. "I hope so." Removing the stethoscope from around her neck, Dr. Coburn began to take Abby's blood pressure.   
  
As Sandra walked breathlessly into the room with the UA results, she said. "Abby, your BP is 160/110, right where we start to worry about severe pre-eclampsia."  
  
Her eyes pools of fear almost ready to erupt into geysers spurting tears, Abby whispered, "I've been okay my entire pregnancy."   
  
"Let's look at some of the other tests. We both know that pre-eclampsia and eclampsia can show up during labor, delivery and even in the couple of days following delivery. We can't be sure yet, but I want to take caution, the decisions we make in the next couple of hours are life or death."   
  
Sandra spoke up from the doorway. "Urine tested positive for protein."   
  
The doctor sighed, "Start her on a magnesium sulfate drip." Before the nurse could administer the needed medication, a sudden shrill beeping drew their attention. Abby's eyes grew wide with horror as the realization struck that the baby's heart rate had dipped below 90. As if a fluorescent sign with bright red letters reading DANGER had suddenly appeared, Coburn snapped into action. "Damn it. It's probably a placental abruption. We need to get her to the OR, stat. Sandra, call and have them book a room, send anesthesiology and pediatrics have them meet us there. Prep her now, I'll meet you there. We need to get this baby out now."  
  
Petrified with fear, as the nurses began to prep her for travel to the OR, Abby's body began to shake and her jaw trembled. With John at her side, they followed the doctor out of the room, and towards the elevators.   
  
"John," she cried out frantically. He appeared at her side in an instant, running alongside the gurney. He gave her hand, which was intertwined in his own, a reassuring squeeze.   
  
They reached the elevator, and a nurse who had appeared at some point pushed the button, waiting for it to arrive and open. "John… " Abby whispered quietly. He leaned his head close to hers as she began to speak, tears rolling in torrents down her cheek and staining the white sheet of the gurney. "You have to make sure they save the baby," she murmured between sobs and labored breaths.   
  
An equally horrified look passed over his face, "Shh… Abby don't talk that, your both going to be fine."  
  
"No, listen to me. If anything happens…"  
  
He cut her off, speaking forcefully, "You're going to be fine."  
  
Abby shook her head, having trouble breathing for a multitude of reasons. "Let me speak, no interruptions." He gave her clenched hand a reassuring squeeze and nodded, accepting defeat gracefully. "The baby comes first, I… this past year with you has been the happiest of my life. I can die a happy woman, but the baby has it's whole life ahead of it." A tear rolled down his cheek as she the elevator arrived and they pushed her into it. She continued to speak.   
  
"Whatever happens, I love you…and our baby more than anything. You've made me the happiest woman alive, you complete me, but… I want you to be happy." Abby closed her eyes briefly, finding it hard to speak through the tears that flowed freely down her cheeks and the heaving sighs that engulfed her chest. "If it comes to it, move on, live a long, happy life. Make sure the baby knows how much I love it, and tell Maggie… and Eric that … That I love them. I love you, John…" she cried, before breaking down. She closed her eyes as they made their way into the OR.   
  
As they pushed open the heavy sliding doors, a nurse rested her hand on Carter's shoulder. "You'll have to wait out here."  
  
"John!" Abby cried, her voice strangled with panic.   
  
"Please," he begged. "I'm a doctor here." The nurse took a look at the blue scrubs he wore.   
  
She sighed and handed him a cap and face mask. "Go ahead."   
  
"Thank you," Carter cried, pushing the doors open and rushing to Abby's side. He pressed a kiss to her temple, and resumed his stance at the side of her head, kneeling down to her eye level. "Shh…" he soothed, stroking her forehead. "It's going to be okay."  
  
Dr. Coburn burst into the room. "Where's Babcock?" she snapped, directing the accusation at Claire, one of the nurses. The nurse shrugged, earning a frustrated sigh from the Obstetrician. "She's had an epidural, Sandra?" Barely recognizable in her scrubs and mask, Sandra nodded. "What's the baby's heart rate?"  
  
"65," someone near the monitor called out.   
  
"We don't have time to wait. Have 100mg of fentanyl ready. What are her vitals?"  
  
"Mom's BP is 160/110, pulse is 102, Satting at 98 on room air," another nurse called out.   
  
"Good. Put her on nasal oxygen," the doctor ordered. Then, she turned to Abby. "We're going to get the baby out now, Abby. Stay calm."  
  
Abby struggled to keep her eyes open. "What's happening?" she murmured sleepily.   
  
"They're making the first incision now, honey." She nodded, closing her eyes. "Stay with me, Abby," he fretted nervously.   
  
Abby remained silent for a couple seconds, her eyelids closed peacefully. Suddenly her eyes opened. "John?" He nodded. "What's happening now?"   
  
"Here's the baby, Abby," Coburn called, answering her question. "It's a girl."  
  
Carter's face broke into a grin. "You hear that, baby? A little girl."  
  
Abby smiled, closing her eyes again, "A little girl." She paused for a moment, looking thoughtful. "She's not crying." Abby's eyes snapped open, and a concerned look crossed her face. "Why isn't she breathing?" she cried frantically.  
  
Another doctor, presumably from pediatrics took the baby from Coburn's arms and whisked her away to another room.   
  
"Pressure's rising, Dr. Coburn," a nurse called out.   
  
"Damn it. Carter, out now," Coburn barked. He stood up, giving Abby one last kiss on the forehead, as she closed her eyes and slipped into unconsciousness. One of the many nurses that were in the room walked over to him, and laying a guiding hand on his shoulder, led him out of the room. Carter remained focused ahead of him, until hearing the resounding thud of the door banging shut, which caused him to look back. He reached up to the window with one hand, watching as the doctors and nurses struggled to save Abby's life. His brand new baby was nowhere in sight, as the nurse tapped him on the arm.   
  
"Sir?" Carter turned around slowly. "I think it's best if you go sit in the waiting room. It's that way," she continued, pointing with her finger. "The doctor or one of the nurses will come and get you as soon as…" she paused thoughtfully, unsure how to finish. Saving her, he nodded, and resignedly walked towards the previously mentioned waiting area.   
  
The cold metal of the doorknob seeped through his skin, chilling him to the bone, and sending goose bumps down his spine. He walked into the small room, void of any other human life. Old wooden chairs with once white, now stained cushioning lined the walls. In the far corner of the room stood a small wooden table with a coffee machine, sugar, cream, milk, tea bags and a stack of styrofoam cups sitting on it. Nearby stood a small device with hot and cold water and another stack of cups. On the opposite side of the room, nestled between two chairs, there was another small wooden table, where a lamp and a complimentary telephone rested. Closing the door soundlessly, he took a seat next to the telephone, and laid his head in his hands.   
  
Beginning with a single tear that dripped silently down his face, he soon began to sob, memories of the past year filling his mind. Carter could see clearly the night she first discovered she was pregnant. Giggling like schoolchildren, they had left his apartment at around 1:30 AM and found a 24 hour pharmacy. They bought a pregnancy test and went home for her to take it. While the two waited with excited anticipation, Carter proposed to her, with the ring he'd planned on presenting in a couple of weeks on a planned skiing trip. Abby had happily agreed to getting married, plans for a wedding already formulating in her mind when the pregnancy test was ready to be viewed. Moments later, he walked into the bathroom to find that the test confirmed she was not pregnant. Saddened by the unexpected setback in creating their family, the newly engaged couple vowed to start trying for a baby. Two weeks later, having made an appointment with her OB-GYN, Abby discovered that the home test had failed and she was 6 weeks pregnant.   
  
The following months were a blur of hurried wedding plans and loving moments. Arranged at record speed, the wedding had taken place 3 months later. Abby had insisted they get married before her pregnancy was blatantly obvious, and with her dogged persistence and his Gamma pulling a couple of strings, they were able to do just that. He could still conjure up a picture of her walking down the isle. His eyes were focused on nothing but her, beautiful in a traditional white gown, gracefully walking down the isle like an angel descending from Heaven.   
  
Abby's earlier words to him had been correct. The past year or so since they'd finally become a couple after her breaking up with Luka had been the happiest of his life. The sound of the door opening brought him out of his reverie. Dr. Coburn walked into the room, her face grave. Carter stood up, wiping his teary eyes with a tissue, a sinking feeling in his stomach.   
  
"Your wife is going to be okay…"  
  
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)  
  
"Abby?" he whispered. Lying on a bed in her room, she opened her eyes and looked up.   
  
"John," she called out, relief evident in her tone of voice. Carter walked over to her, and gently pressed a kiss to her lips. "Don't you ever do that again. I was so scared."  
  
"Me too," she murmured, resting her hand on the side of his face. A nurse walked into the room, the loud wail of newborn trailing behind her.   
  
"Plenty of time for that later, you two," she teased, "I have somebody I'd like you to meet." She pushed the bassinet over to them. Inside, a tiny baby wrapped in a pink blanket with a white cap on her head, whimpered loudly.   
  
Abby's eyes glistened with tears, "Is she okay?"  
  
The nurse nodded. "She's perfect. Would you like to hold her?" The new mother nodded as tears of happiness rolled down her face. The nurse gently set the baby in her arms, as Abby gasped. "I'll leave you now. I'm Betsy if you need anything, just press the call button. Congratulations." Unnoticed by the new family, she turned and left the room.   
  
The baby wrapped her tiny fingers around Carter's thumb as Abby kissed the top of her head. "What should we name her?" Carter wondered aloud.  
  
Both silently contemplated this important topic for a moment. Suddenly, a smile appeared at Abby's lips. "I know. Let's call her Hannah. My mother's mother was called Hannah. She was my hero, until she died when I was 4. That was the same year Daddy left us…" her voice trailed off, caught up in the memory. The baby gurgled, brining her back to the present. "Hannah means grace of god, its Hebrew. Granny Hannah was Jewish, you know. And I think that our little baby certainly is a grace of god, don't you think?"  
  
He nodded. "Hannah Carter," he replied testing it out on his tongue. "I like it, but Hannah still needs a middle name."  
  
Abby laughed. "That she does. How about you pick one?"  
  
"Me?" he asked. She nodded merrily. "Well, I've always liked the name Alexis."  
  
"I like it. Hannah Alexis Carter. What do you think of that, sweety?" she asked the baby, who had fallen asleep. Abby laughed, feeling more light-hearted than she had in a long time. " I think she likes it."   
  
"Me too." Carter wrapped his arms around his wife and child. It was hard to believe that in such a short time, less than a year, he'd gotten married and had a baby. He was a new person, as was she. There would be hard times ahead, but the overall happiness would outweigh everything bad. After years of searching he was finally part of his own family, small but perfect in every way. And that was just what the doctor ordered.   
  
(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)(O)  
  
~THE END~  
  
Authors Note Part 2 (because I seem to like these, huh?): That's the end, folks, unless I get A LOT of good feedback and have a divine inspiration which is *always* possible. I just wanted to say that I did do some research on the Internet for this fic, because we all know I sure am not a doctor. If you catch any glaring errors, please don't flame me, I'm only in high school. In fact, I would really appreciate it if you find something wrong, let me know, tell me how to fix it and I will, with much thanks on your behalf. Hope you enjoyed! 


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